Are you always able to find the silver lining, the opportunity in every challenge, or can you see when the obstacle is the way?

Today I’ll be taking many excerpts from the introduction of Ryan Holiday’s book “The Obstacle is The Way” where he credits the work of fellow authors, ancient philosophers, and stoics in providing the lessons and examples for his book. Our lives will always have ups and downs and his book has helped me create self-awareness, to take action in preparation for the unknown, and to reflect on past experiences turning trauma into triumph.

If we all feel the same when faced with adversity, why is it that some are more affected than others? Why do some people lay on the horn when a car suddenly enters the lane in front of them when others yield without the slightest reaction? Ben Bergeron states that one of the ten essential “Don’t Do” habits is that we should never get mad in traffic. If we remove all health-related factors, why do we get mad in traffic? If you follow his podcast, his response will be that we need to be more self-aware and change our mindset, which brings us to Ryan’s work:

Following the news release of my suspension when my name and picture were shared by various local social media accounts (even made the newspaper), many chose to distance themselves from any association with me. I was angry, sad, disappointed in myself, but mostly ashamed and embarrassed. For the weeks leading up to the release I had kept the news from my wife, who had far more serious explanations in her mind about why I was behaving so strangely. She was at home with a newborn and I was withdrawn, not communicating with her as I was bracing for the news to break. Slowly, from my family to my inner circle, I shared with them what had been consuming me, and what the fallout will be in the coming years if they were to continue associating with me at the personal and professional level. To my surprise the outcome was not nearly as bad as it could have been, but if you were to ask me at the time I would likely have expressed something along the lines of my world is coming to an end (and to some degree it would have truly felt like it). Family, friends, and colleagues were incredibly supportive. Strangers and acquaintances quietly and publicly gave support, and estranged friends expressed their disappointment but would later on retract or apologize for speaking publicly.

Despite making the biggest and most public mistake of my life so far, the path I am on would not be the path I would have sought out without the public shaming and humiliation. I needed to be accountable for my own actions and know that I was responsible for putting myself in that position. By taking ownership, by recognizing my role as a leader within my team and community, I had to take a deep dive into my own values. If I want members of my community and family to be happy, healthy, and humble then I have to take sincere and focused efforts for self-improvement.

What can I offer to StrongFit members from my experiences?

First, I would recommend everyone read Ryan’s book.

Second, I would ask that everyone take a moment and question their thoughts and words, to see if what you’re doing is complaining or whining or if you’re recognizing a challenge and are working on a solution for it. If any of the situations listed below applies to you, try to catch yourself in your complaint and look for something positive to say about it. At first you may not believe what you’re saying, but in time you’ll find it to be true. Or you may just need some practice in looking for the positive, you probably won’t get it right away but if you are a chronic whiner, you’ll get lots of opportunities to practice.

This mask is uncomfortable and it keeps me working within a breathing rate that will help me focus on better movements.

My back is tight from shoveling snow and it’ll be good to go to the gym, keep things light, and still strengthen my hips so next time won’t be so bad.

I’m stuck at home for the next week because I have a cold and I’m going to enjoy spending the extra time with my family, less time travelling in traffic, and this way I won’t get anyone else sick.

Third, be patient. Understand that change does take time and having support helps. If you can let others know what you are attempting to accomplish, they may join you and provide valued feedback at the right moment to keep you on track. Most of the time, the difficulties we experience won’t matter in a week, so complaining about it will only create more opportunities for it to bother you.

So how is this self-reflection going to help the gym? It’s simple, all bumps in the road are an opportunity to slow down and enjoy the ride. If we focus on the process and not the end goal, we can live happier and more meaningful lives. If you view all obstacles as a way of getting better, it’s going to be really hard to get down on yourself, and you’ll bulletproof yourself for all that’s coming your way in the future. As long as we are alive we will face adversity, so use each obstacle as a challenge and seek the potential for growth.

Since March I’ve focused on seeing the opportunity in the gym shutting down and in the uncertainty of the coming months. I have been able to really connect with my wife and kids on a level that would not have been present without a lockdown. Seeing the opportunity in every obstacle has saved me the energy that would normally be wasted on focusing on what is outside of my control, and has helped me come to terms with my past by preparing for what I want out of my future.

I can see many places where are seeing the opportunities as well; our gym community has become stronger and tighter, people are far more understanding of each other, and when one of us is down the rest are there to pick them up. I can see the appreciation of working out in a gym on the faces of every member, and with each threat of a shutdown again, they are more determined than ever to keep exercise in their daily routines.

Ultimately what this book has taught me is that no matter what, I can spend my time complaining about a challenge or I can spend my time working on how to make the best of. This includes sharing my experiences, hoping they will help build happier, healthier, and more humble mindsets.

Sincerely,
Coach Tron